The Curse of the Not so Magical Piano
by ArcaneWritesStuff
Summary: There are no major spoilers! Skulduggery and Valkyrie have a new case. The case of the Not so Magical Piano, is what Valkyrie is calling it. How can a seemingly innocent piano cause the downfall of the human race? And not adding any pressure, Kenny Dunne is still at large, gathering more information on the magical world. Will this case end up being their last? Forever?
1. Chapter 1

This is all The Golden Gods writing. The story had references, so I posted it for you!

* * *

Somewhere in the distance, a train rattled on its tracks.

Liam sat in his kitchen with the curtains drawn, the lamp on the table casting its searing eye over his handiwork. It was the size of a  
shoebox, and wooden. Heavy. Inside were things he did not, could not, understand. There were gears and levers and finely balanced cogs and symbols painstakingly etched into it all. He didn't know what they meant, didn't know what they were for, but he had seen them in his head for as long as he could remember. Transferring those symbols to metal and wood, after all these years, was... well, it was wonderful. It was a relief. It was like he'd been tense his whole life, every muscle knotted and his teeth gritted and his eyes screwed shut, and now suddenly he was relaxing, and a strange sort of euphoric calm spread through him.

He took a screwdriver from the junkyard of tools on the table and fixed the lid in place. His hands were covered in nicks and cuts. He had run out of plasters days ago. Some of the cuts still stung. There were particular gears and symbols that required blood. He didn't know why- he just knew that they did. He saw it in his head. He always had. This device, this box, these designs, these gears and levers and symbols- they had always been a part of who he was. This was all he thought about. It was why he didn't finish school. It was why he couldn't hold a job. It was why Cathy had left him. This device had ruined any chance he'd ever had at happiness- but here it was, finished. A wooden box with a big red button on its lid.

Liam straightened his back. Vertebrae cracked. How long had he been sitting hunched over like that? How long had he been sitting here? He became suddenly aware of how full his bladder was, and how empty his stomach. He needed to go for a walk. He needed fresh air. Was it even daytime? The curtains were closed and everywhere but the table was in darkness. It was night. But what night? Was it still the weekend?

There was something over by the door, a shape in the gloom. Like a man, standing very still. Liam squinted at it, then turned his head, looked at it out of the corner of his eye. No matter how he viewed the thing, this coat or this shadow or whatever it was, it still looked like a man. A tall man. In a hat.

Liam frowned at it.

"Hello Liam," said the man.

A bolt of fear and fright shot from Liam's belly to his chest, but his body remained still. Would his legs even work if he tried to jump up? He'd been sitting here for so long he doubted it.

Liam's mouth was dry. How long had it been since he'd taken a drink of water? His voice cracked. The question he asked was not who are you or what do you want, two questions he felt needed answers, but rather, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Just a few minutes," said the man. He had a reassuring voice. It was smooth. "You didn't hear me come in. You were otherwise occupied. What is that you've got there?"

"You can't have it," said Liam. "If you want to rob me, rob me. I have a little money somewhere. But you can't have this."

"I'm not here to rob you," said the man. "What happens if you press that button, Liam?"

The pressure on his bladder, the dryness of his mouth, the emptiness of his belly, and now a headache, rising slowly from the heat that was stinging his skin and making him sweat. He felt sick. He was sick. He needed to lie down.

"I don't know," said Liam.

The tall man in the hat moved his head ever so slightly. "You don't know what it does? But you made it, didn't you?"

Liam nodded.

"How did you know what to do?"

"I've always known," said Liam. "My whole life, I've known. I had these images in my head. But I couldn't see them clear enough until... sorry, what date is it?"

"The twenty-first," said the tall man. "Four days before Christmas."

Liam frowned. "That can't be right. It was the eighth just... just a few days ago."

"Time got away from you," said another voice in the gloom, somewhere over by the window. It was a girl's voice.

"Who are you?" Liam asked at last.

"No one in particular," said the man. "We have a job to do, that's all. We help people."

"I don't need your help."

"You may not," said the girl, "but everyone else does." She walked forward a bit, until the peripheral glow from the lamp could pick out her features. She was pretty, with dark hair. Wearing black. Seventeen or eighteen, no older. "What does the button do?" she asked.

"I told you," said Liam. "I don't know."

"Then why is your finger on it?"

He looked down. There it was, his finger, resting on the big red button like it had no intention of ever moving. He frowned. He couldn't remember putting it there and yet... yet it seemed there could be no other possible place he could put it. On the button is where his finger belonged.

"I'm sorry," Liam said, "I'm not feeling well."

"Liam Delaney," said the man, "take your finger off the button."

And Liam almost did it. Without thinking, his finger raised a fraction of an inch before the weight of his obligation forced it back down again.

Obligation? What obligation? What the hell was going on?

"How did you do that?" he asked the man. "How did you make me do that?"

The man made a sound, like a dissatisfied grunt, and it was the girl who spoke. "How did you disobey? Did you take a name?"

"What?" said Liam. "What do you mean?"

"How did you disobey?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, do you understand? I don't know who you are or what you're doing here."

"They're saying the world will end," said the girl.

This stopped Liam for a moment. "What?"

"They're saying the world will end," the girl repeated. "Did you hear that?"

"Are you... are you talking about that Mayan thing? What about it? The Mayan calendar ends on the 21st of December. So what? It's a calendar. They ran out of room or they stopped calculating or a new cycle begins again or something... I'm sorry, what does that have to do with anything? It's nonsense."

"Do you know what a Sensitive is, Liam?" the girl asked. "It's a psychic. You believe in psychics?"

"No," said Liam. "I don't believe in astrology either, or tarot cards, or palm reading."

The girl nodded. "Palm reading is silly. So is astrology. Most tarot card readers haven't a clue what they're doing. I met one once who assured me I had a happy life ahead of me- so she's pretty obviously an idiot. But psychics have been predicting the end of the world, Liam, to coincide with the end of the Mayan calendar."

"So?"

"So we think the end of the world starts here," said the man.

Liam frowned. "In Ireland? You think the end of the world starts here in this country?"

"Actually I think it starts here in this kitchen."

Liam blinked. "You can't be serious."

"I can be, but rarely am."

"And, what? You think this button kicks it all off?" Liam said, almost laughing. "You think that's what I've been making? This is a box of gears and junk and things that don't make sense! There is not a single computer chip or piece of technology in it. It's not connected to anything. I don't know what will happen when I push the button but whatever happens will happen in this box and this box alone. It's not going to set off a chain reaction or it's not going to explode or it's not going to detonate nuclear warheads or... It's just a silly box."

"A silly box that has been in your head for your entire life," said the man.

"But now it's out," said Liam. "It's not in my head anymore. It's gone. I don't have to... I don't have to think about it anymore."

"How's your mother, Liam?"

The smile faded from Liam's face.

"She's doing well, from what I gather," the man continued. "Responding to the treatment. She still draws on the wall, of course. Strange symbols. Strange designs. Gears and levers and a big red button."

"My mother is ill."

The man nodded his head in the shadows. "Like her father before her. And his father before him. Stretching back through the generations. And all of you with this design on your minds. This box. That button. But you, Liam, you're the only one who saw it clearly enough to construct it."

"I've broken the cycle," said Liam. "I'm not going to end up in an asylum like the rest of them. I've done it. I've made it. Now I get to have a normal life. Now that my duty is almost done, I get to be free of it."

"What duty?" asked the girl.

The headache was getting worse. He was getting hotter. He probably had a fever. "Did I say duty? I don't know. That's not the word I meant to use."

"But it's the one you used," said the man. "Do you have a duty, Liam? Is that what it feels like?"

"I'm not sure I... I..."

"That box has cursed your bloodline for hundreds of years," the man said. "Maybe more. You were compelled to construct it, weren't you? You didn't have a choice. You may not even have been fully aware of what you were doing. You have a duty to that box, don't you Liam?"

Liam nodded. "An obligation," he whispered.

"An obligation to that box. Why is your finger on the button, Liam? Is that part of your obligation? Once you build it, you set it off?"

Something broke in Liam's heart, and tears came to his eyes. "I have to press it," he said, his face crumpling. "I just have to press it once and it'll all be over. I'll be able to walk away and never think about it again."

"Pressing that button will hurt a lot of people."

"It's just a box," Liam sobbed.

"It's more than a box."

"It's just a box, I'm telling you. It doesn't do anything. I'm not a scientist or an engineer. I'm just a man. I'm just ordinary. I wouldn't know how to build anything that would hurt people. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to be able to walk away."

There was a sound outside. A car pulling up. A line of light swept in through the crack in the curtains and brushed by the man's jaw. It looked like his skin was white as chalk, or he was wearing a mask or something.

"Be right back," said the man, and slipped out through the door.

"Who's out there?" Liam asked.

"Some people," said the girl. "There's been a race to find you. We got here first."

"What do they want?"

There was a cry from outside, and a sudden light like a bursting flame and then it was gone again.

"They want the box," said the girl. "They want to sell it, or use it, or worship it. I don't know. Some of these people just don't make any sense to me. You look tired."

"I feel sick."

Outside there was another sound. Loud. Abrupt.

"Was that a gunshot?" asked Liam.

"It was," said the girl.

"Aren't you scared?"

"You've got your finger on a button that will end the world," the girl said. "Why should I be scared of guns that aren't even aimed at me?"

"I'm not going to end the world."

"You've got your finger on the button."

"I can barely work out how to make a call on my own phone- why do you think I know how to destroy the planet? This is ridiculous. Please leave me alone."

"I wish we could. But if we do, you'll press that button, and you'll kill us all. You'll kill my friends and my parents and my little sister. I can't let you do that, Liam."

"I won't be hurting anyone. The box doesn't do anything. It's just a stupid box with a stupid button, but it's been in my head for my entire life, like a constant whine in my ear. All I have to do to be rid of it is just press the thing. That's all. Easy as that. I'll press it, no one will get hurt, the world won't end, and I won't have to listen to that whine anymore. I won't have to dream about gears and symbols. I'll be able to close my eyes and not see how one cog fits into the other. I'll be able to live in the kind of peace that my mother never could. You don't... you don't know. You don't know what it was like, seeing her... seeing what happened to her. Seeing how bad it got. When I was ten years old she sat me down, she told me these dreams I had would only get worse. She told me they'd consume my life, like they were consuming hers. This is my chance to escape that madness. Please, just leave me alone. This is the only chance I'll ever have."

"It isn't madness you're suffering from," said the girl. "My friend, the friend that's out there right now fighting on your front lawn, told me what you are. You're a conduit for an idea, an idea that was planted centuries ago. It's grown inside the minds of your ancestors, been added to, been improved... and here tonight, it's finally ready. You're not mad, Liam. Your mother isn't mad. You're just open to a stream of information that the rest of us aren't."

"So who planted it?" Liam asked. "This idea you're talking about. Whose idea was it? The Mayans?"

"The Maya people just foresaw the end," said the man from beside the door. Liam hadn't even heard him come back in. "They had nothing to do with this. We don't know who started it. We don't even know if ending the world was what was originally intended. All we know is that our Sensitives had visions of a man in a dark room, building a box, and when he pressed the button everything just... ended."

"Then how did you know it was me?"

"They heard a train in the distance."

"That's it? That's all?"

"That narrowed it down," said the man. "A few other hints. A few other clues. Why haven't you pushed the button?"

"Why haven't I...? But you don't want me to."

"That's not why you haven't pushed it. Your finger's on it. There's nothing stopping you. Why haven't you?"

"I don't... I'm not sure."

"It's because you know that that isn't just a silly box and that isn't just a silly button. You believe us, don't you?"

"No, I... Oh God. I don't know."

"Will you give us the box, Liam?"

"What will happen then?"

"We'll take it somewhere safe," said the girl. "We can't dismantle it and we can't destroy it- something might go wrong. But we'll take care of it. We'll hide it away where no one will ever find it."

"It won't be used to hurt anyone," the man said. "I promise."

"And me?" said Liam. "What will happen to me?"

The man hesitated. "I won't lie to you. You'll probably always feel that urge to push the button. That won't go away. You'll have to live with it for the rest of your life."

"But I'm so close. I'm so close to leaving it behind."

"We're asking you to make a sacrifice," the girl said. "We're asking you to continue living with this so that the rest of the world can continue living. Please, Liam."

More tears now, but they came silently. Liam lifted his finger from the button, and with his other hand he pushed the box slowly across the table. The girl came forward to take it. She wore a black ring, Liam noticed. For a moment it seemed to play with the shadows, and then the girl was lifting the box and stepping back, taking great care.

The last remaining dregs of strength drained from Liam's body. He was exhausted, confused, scared, and all he wanted to do was lunge across the table and push that big red button before the girl took it away.

"Thank you," said the man, and Liam just nodded.

The man looked down at something- a pocketwatch?- and opened the door. "Two hours until midnight," he said. "Should be loads of time."

"Loads of time for what?" Liam asked, even though he knew the man hadn't been speaking to him.

The girl walked slowly out, taking the box with her. Liam forced himself to remain where he was.  
"There's a woman who believes the souls of all her dead lovers are trapped in the centre of the Earth," said the man. "She wants to crack the world open to free them."  
Liam frowned. "Can she do it?"  
"Yes. So we have to stop her before she kills us all."  
"But... but didn't your psychics say that I'd be responsible for the end of the world?"

"Some of them did, yes. And some others said that she would. We've averted eight potential apocalypses already today, and she'll be our last. Once midnight comes, we can relax. Then we just have to hope the Americans don't mess up."

"The Americans?"

"A day can last 49 hours around the world," said the man, walking out and leaving Liam sitting there at his kitchen table. "A lot can happen in one."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Disclaimer: This is all Derek Landy's brilliant work from his brilliant mind... I envy him so much.

Also, Comments and Votes are super welcome. A: Comments help me write better stories and B: Votes get me out there.

Peaces!


	2. Chapter 2

O.K, This is mine. I wrote it all. After this, the only thing I dont own is the books and characters.

* * *

The photographer snapped a picture of the two people that got into the gleaming black car.

"Did you get that?" They other one asked and the photographer nodded.

Kenny Dunne smiled. "Let's go find out who lives here."

They walked up to the house. All of the lights were off and no sound came from inside. Kenny knocked. Inside they could hear a slight shuffling and a man opened the door

"Back already? I was hoping- " He looked at them." Oh, I thought you were someone else. Can I help you?"

"Yes." His partner said. "We are journalists and we are hopping we could ask you some questions."

"Uh, sure" the man said. He looked uncomfortable." Do you want to come in?"

"If you don't mind." Kenny said.

The man stepped aside, giving them room to pass."I'm Kenny." Kenny told him.

"Liam."

Liam led them into a messy kitchen and pulled up some chairs.

"So, Liam, I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them as truthfully as you can. Try to ignore the tape-recorder." He paused to see if the disheveled man was following him.

"Ok." was all he said.

"Right, let's start off with who those people were that just left your house. Can you tell me who they were?"

Liam blinked. " I don't know if I should be telling you this. Isn't it, like, their personal business?"

"They broke into your house. Isn't that violating personal space?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"So who cares about their personal space? So again, can you tell me who those two people were."

"Uh, we'll, they didn't give me any names,so..." Liam trailed off.

"Alright, then could you describe them to us?"

Liam squirmed in his chair. "Well, one was a girl, she looked about 18, Maybe, had really dark hair and eyes. She was tall too."

"And the other one?"

"He was tall, and really thin. He had on a nice suit and a hat but I couldn't see his face."

"So you didn't see any of it not like a sliver or anything." Kenny's partner asked.

"Well, I did see a bit of his jaw."

Kenny sat forward. "What did it look like?"

"I really don't know why you are so curious at what he looked like. But it was really pale, like chalk or a really white mask."

"And when this car showed up, what did they say to you?"

"Well,the man said he'll be back but the girl stayed with me. I asked her what was happening. She said that it was a race or something to get to me and they got here first. Then there was a bright flash like lightning or...fire. Then she said the people wanted to worship or sell the... Thing that I had made. Then there was a gunshot. Then the man came in and asked for my creation. And I gave it to them. They said it was dangerous."

Kenny sat back. "This thing, what was it?"

"They said it was a device that could end the world."

Kenny nodded. "Thank you Liam, you helped a lot."

Liam sighed. "Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you. We will be leaving now." He walked into the hall. He didn't hear Liam follow him.

"One question." Kenny turned, one hand on the doorknob. Liam stood in the hallway. "Who were those people?"

Kenny smiled. "Watch the news on Friday. It will answer all of your questions."


	3. Chapter 3

This is all mine, but I don't own the books or the characters.

* * *

Valkyrie Cain glared out the car window, and up the drive leading to her house. "It's really hard, in a way, to glare with only one eye," She said. "Because the other one is sealed shut, you know?"

Skulduggery sighed. "Valkyrie, I told you, I was preoccupied."

She turned her head to him. "It was only us and the old lady! YOU just stood there and let her beat me up!"

"I don't see how she was beating you in the first place."

Valkyrie clenched her jaw. "I don't like punching old ladies."

"You punched Tanith. And she 73."

"That's different. She doesn't _look_ old. Old looking old people are to old-looking to punch. I kept going to try to punch her, but then she reminded me of my gran, so I pushed her instead."

Skulduggery nodded slowly.

"Don't do that! I happen to like my gran! What? Do you have something against old people?"

He raised his hands. "I never said that. But you could have hit her. She _was_ going to end the world, and she did hit you first."

Glaring, she pressed her seat belt button and got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. Skulduggery rolled down the window.

"Have a good night!" He said, cheerfully. "See you in the morning!"

"I get one day to sleep in! No exceptions." She called over her shoulder.

"Only one? Fine by me."

Valkyrie whirled around. "No! I want more than that! I said that wrong!"

He shrugged. "No exceptions." And waved as the window rolled up. She watched him drive away, then turned and walked the rest of the way to her porch.

Valkyrie didn't bother being quiet as she unlocked her door. Her parents were off at an anniversary party a few hours away till late, so they were spending the night at a hotel. Alice was asleep in her crib when Valkyrie passed her parents door, and her reflection was lying in her bed when she entered her room. She stood in the doorway and listened to its steady breathing for a moment, then moved to its side. Its eyes flicked open, and sat up.

"You look a mess."

Valkyrie grunted. "I got into a fight with an old lady. I didn't want to hit her, so she beat me up. Skulduggery already took care of the humiliation."

It nodded. "OK. Are you ready to resume your life?" It asked.

"Yes."

The reflection nodded again, and swung its legs from under the covers. Valkyrie followed it to it closet. It stepped through the glass of the mirror on the other side of the door, and turned back to her. Valkyrie touched the mirror and a days worth of memories flooded in to her mind.

The refection had taken Alice for a walk around the park. Alice took a nap. The reflection read the summer reading book for school. Ate. Ordinary things. She aligned them with her own, extraordinary memories. Sighing, she changed out of her work clothes and into an overly large tee, and slid under the covers. The. Covers where warm, and she slipped into sleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kenny snapped pictures of the skeleton driving away, and some of the girl who walked into the house. He took a deep breath, and smiled. These where the last few pictures of evidence he needed. His book was all written, and he had what he was going to say when he aired on T.V. on friday all planed out, he just need a few more pictures. He had them of the strange creature at the pier the one night, of the dirty, disgusting town with blank store fronts where he caught strange people doing strange things. He even got what must be their headquarters, the small, squat building by the stagnant lake. But more importantly, he had pictures and evidence of the skeleton, Skulduggery Pleasant, the detective.

Kenny was going to use him to open his presentation. He knew that they were going to come and try to stop him, keep it all quiet, and he knew Pleasant would be at the head of it all. He would then use him to show the world he wasn't lying.

Pleasant would be taken away, along with the rest of the people. They would be tested on, questioned, and the skeleton more than the others, Kenny knew that too. But he didnt want that. He wanted to have that culture mix with his, to mingle, not be locked up in some laboratory. So he was going to make Pleasant a deal, and he was going to use the fate of his friends against him. He stops the police from taking his friends, if Pleasant himself goes for them. Kenny would learn all about magic and how Pleasant reincarnated himself.

Kenny was a genius.

He closed his pack, and after he was sure no one was looking, he got up from his place behind the bush. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and dialed.

"Hello?" A voice said at the other end. "Kenny? Did you get the pictures?"

"I did." Kenny answered. "I'm heading to your place now."

"The slide shows ready, except for those, so when I get those, we're good to go." Kenny's brother, James said.

"Nice work. No music right?" Kenny asked.

"No music, I promise."

"Have you read what I want you to say?"

"All of it. Man, wait till mom and dad see us. They'll be all like, 'Those are our boys!' instead of 'Yeah, our sons are a failure journalist, and a in-home computer geek. It will be epic!"

Kenny nodded. "Yes, finally a good turkey on Thanksgiving. See you in ten."

"See you in ten."

Kenny snapped the phone shut and smiled. Friday will be the best day in history.


	4. Chapter 4

Valkyrie woke that morning feeling awake and well rested. She laid on her back, looking at her ceiling for a few moments, before getting out from under her covers. Slowly, she made her way down the stairs until she reached the kitchen, where she froze in the doorway.

"Morning sweetheart!" Valkyries mum said, walking by the door with Alice on her hip. "We're home early!"

Valkyrie blinked."You weren't supposed to be back until late. Like, late late."

"Well , we got back early and I thought I would make us all breakfast, and we can all eat together."

Valkyrie forced a smile onto her face. "Thanks, mum. I... I'm just going to change and I'll be back down."

"Ok. Your father went to the store to get a few things so you have time. Although he probably forgot what I asked him to get so..."

Valkyrie laughed. "I love you mum."

"Love you too, Steph."

She walked into her room let the reflection out of the mirror.

"Are you staying?" It asked, even though it knew the answer.

"I can't." Valkyrie admitted. "I really want to, but the Elders are expecting me and Skulduggery at the meeting today."

"What do you think the meeting is about?"

"No idea."

Valkyrie slid the window open. "Enjoy the meeting." The reflection said softly.

"Oh," Valkyrie replied dryly. "Oodles of fun."

The Bentley sat waiting at the peir.

Valkyrie climbed in and Skulduggery looked at her. "You're late."

"Sorry. My parents got home early so..."

He nodded, pulling the Bentley onto the road.

"So what's the meeting about?" Valkyrie asked.

"Important things."

"You don't know, do you."

"I know... things."

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know." He admitted.

"It better not be something unimportant. I'm missing breakfast for this."

"Such a sacrafice, I'm sure. I'll take you out after."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Can we skip the meeting and go straight to breakfast?"

He looked at her. "No."

"But I'm hungry." She whined.

"Cheer up." Skulduggery said, brightly. "Its only two and a half hours long."

Valkyrie sank into her seat. "_Oodles_ of fun."

Roarhaven was as gloomy and dirty as when Valkyrie first saw it. The lake was no better. There were few mages out, and those who were had no patience for pleasantry's, so Skulduggery and Valkyrie walked to the front doors without being stopped.

They were ushered through the doors by the new Administor. He was small and thin. Valkyrie couldnt help but notice that he had the biggest eyebrows she had ever seen. He didnt give a name and they didnt ask.

"The Elders will be with you in a moment." Eyebrows told them. "They are quite stressed."

Skulduggery nodded. "Thank you."

With a small bow, the Administrator left, and it was just Skulduggery and Valkyrie.

She itched to break the silence.

"Did you see his eyebrows?"

Skulduggerys head turned to her slowly. "Sorry?"

"Tell me you noticed them." She said. "They were huge!"

"They were pretty big." He admitted.

She grinned and the doors at the other end of the room opened. Valkyries grin faded.

Ravel walked in with Ghastly and Mist following. Ravel and Ghastly looked terrible, clothes creased and dram circles under their eyes. Valkyrie couldn't tell with Mist. Her veil never moved.

Ravel sat heavily in his chair. "Skulduggery, Valkyrie. Glad you could make it."

Skulduggery tipped his hat. "Is there a problem?"

Ghastly sighed and looked at Ravel.

"A piano was stolen."

Valkyrie blinked. "What?"

"Skulduggery glanced at her. "The piano Ravel is talking about is fabled to be magical. In legends, it would grant the player either one wish, or unimaginable power. And they had thought to have found it, but it never worked."

Ghastly nodded. "And now its stolen."

"Who had it last?"

It was Mist who spoke. "Scarlet Durham. She owns a antique museum in Dublin, and the piano was placed there."

"And you want us to check this out?"

"Yes."

Skulduggery nodded. "Well then. We'll go check it out." He turned on his heel to leave, but Ghastly called him back.

"Wait. We have a lot of pressure with the Supreme Council breathing down our backs, and we want this case done as soon as possible."

"I have a feeling I know where this is going."

"We hired help. Her name is Arrant Covert, and she used to work for the American Sanctuary before going freelance. She should be here any minute."

Skulduggery's head tilted. "You think we need help."

"Its for the best." Mist said.

The doors opened behind them and they turned, seeing a woman walk through the door. She smiled.

"Hi. I'm Arrant."

* * *

Hello! So Arrant is kind of an OC. Arrant (pronounced Ah-ront) is a friend of mine, and wanted to be in the story. She is really cool, trust me.


	5. Chapter 5

Arrant bowed to the Elders hands then turned to them. She shook Skulduggery's hand.

"Nice to finally meet you in person." She said, smiling.

Skulduggery nodded. "Yes. How are you coming along?"

"Eh. So-So. Things are slow without the Sanctuary, but I like it better."

She turned to Valkyrie. "And who's this?"

"I'm Valkyrie." Valkyrie said. She didn't shake her hand. "How do you know Skulduggery?"

"Reputation, mostly. We worked on a long range case from America for a few days."

Valkyrie didn't say anything and they stood there awkwardly before Ravel broke the silence.

"Glad we got that sorted. Now Skulduggery, please get this figured out. We have some... things going on."

Skulduggery nodded. "You got it."

They turned. Valkyrie went to fall into step with Skulduggery, but Arrant took her place. They began idly chatting with Valkyrie following behind.

Irritated,she took a moment to look at Arrant. The wasn't _tall_, but was well built, with strong, toned muscles in her arms and legs. She was blond, and it was pulled back into a stylish ponytail. Her smile was cocky, and she walked with the gait of someone who was respected and knew it.

Valkyrie didn't like her. That was her place. Her place was next to Skulduggery. She didn't like how Arrant just strode in. She didn't like how she took her friend away. Valkyrie knew she was being foolish, Skulduggery wouldn't do that, but there was something else about Arrant, something else she couldn't put her finger on.

She blinked, realizing that they had stopped. Arrant was looking at her and Skulduggerys head was tilted in the way that told her he was amused.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked, how long have you been working with Skulduggery?" Arrant spoke slowly, emphasizing her words.

Valkyries cheeks heated up. "Almost six years."

They continued walking, exiting the Sanctuary. Arrant asked another question. "How old are you?"

"That's none of your business." Valkyrie snapped, and Arrant's eyebrow raised.

"My apology." Her head turned. "My," She said. "You have good taste in cars."

Skulduggery straightened as she walked around. "Its a Bentley."

She nodded, impressed. Arrant was on the passenger side with Valkyrie, and she saw Arrants hand move to the passenger door, but Valkyrie opened the door and moved in front of her, shooting her a glare. Arrant's eyebrows furrowed, but she climbed in the back.

The Bentley's engine roared. "Where are you staying?" Skulduggery asked.

"Merriam Hotel."

Skulduggery nodded. "I know where that is. As a welcome, we'll take you home."

Arrant smiled. "Thank you."

She turned to Valkyrie. "Am I allowed to ask what type of magic you are?"

Valkyrie stared out the windshield. "Elemental."

"Ah. But I see you wear a necromancer ring."

"Its on the side." She answered tersely. "What are you?"

"Illuminite."

"Whats that?"

Skulduggery answered. "They use the body's elector magnetic charge to create beams of energy that they orchestrate with their hands."

"Like what Kitana and her friends could do?"

"Exactly."

She looked back at Arrant. "Is that all?"

"Pretty much. Its a powerful magic. I am a black belt in karate and kung-fu, too, and I know how to box. I play volley-ball."

"I don't like volley-ball."

"Oh."

"I'm sure you're good at it." Skulduggery said trying to save the conversation from the hole it was diving into."

Arrant smiled ruefully. "Thanks."

They sat in silence until Skulduggery pulled in front of a four star hotel. Skulduggery rolled the window down as Arrant got out of the back seat. She peered in. "Thanks for the ride. I don't know if I could have found my way back here." She tried to grin at Valkyrie, but Valkyrie just stared at her and the smile melted away.

Skulduggery passed her a piece of paper. "This is my number. I'm sure we will be in touch."

"Count on it."

Arrant gave them a little wave as she walked in the front doors. Valkyrie waited for Skulduggery to drive away, but when it became apparent that he wasn't, she spoke.

"We're moving really fast."

He was silent.

"Careful. You might spin out."

He didn't answer and she became irritated.

"Either you drive out of this parking lot or I wil-"

"What do you have against Arrant?" He interrupted.

"Shes to full of herself. And she stuck to you like glue."

"I _am_ pretty stick-able. But that's no reason to be rude."

"I just don't like her."

Skulduggery looked at her. "I understand. But shes working the case with us, and I think shes fine. It will just be for a bit. This will be over soon."

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "And when has a case been over soon?"

"Almost never." He admitted and she laughed.

"Can you bear with me?"

She thought about it. "Fine."

He nodded and pulled out. "That's all I ask."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

"I'm starving." Valkyrie said, opening the fridge at the house on Cemetery Road.

"You just had a huge bowl of cereal." Skulduggery pointed out from the other room.

"I'm still hungry." She said and grabbed an apple, walking into the front living room.

Skulduggery was seated in his favorite chair in the corner, the table lamp on. He had a file in his gloved hand and was twirling a pencil with his other, occasionally marking something.

Valkyrie munched the apple thoughtfully and sat across from him on the couch. "Whats that?"

He made a note with the pencil. "Its the file on the piano. Apparently, the curator had turned his back for a minute to make a call, and when he turned around, the piano was gone."

"What did he do?"

"He called his boss, then the Sanctuary. They looked for traces of magic, but there was none. The thief managed to steal a piano in five minutes, completely silent and without magic."

"Any idea how?"

"None."

She paused. "Who?"

Skulduggery looked up. "Its not Arrant, if that's what you're asking. She only got here yesterday. I honestly don't know your problem."

Valkyrie shrugged and Skulduggery looked down again shaking his head.

"Its been a long night. You should go to bed." He said.

"And leave you to solve the case? I'm fine."

"I'm just doing research." He insisted. "You won't get much."

Valkyrie felt a yawn coming on and she fought it, but it forced itself out. Skulduggery looked at her pointedly.

"Fine." She said, standing.

Skulduggery watched her walk up the stairs. "Have a good night." He called as she approached her door.

"You too."

The door swung open at her touch and she frowned. Her room was the same when she walked in but Valkyrie could tell someone had been there.

"Skulduggery." She called. "Somethings off."

She turned to go back downstairs when a fist came flying into her face.

Valkyrie stumbled back, surprised, and heard a sharp cry from downstairs. Her attacker, a thick blonde man grinned and moved out of the doorway and closed the door.

Valkyrie staggered to her feet and she could hear the sounds of a scuffle below.

Moving to the door, she kicked, but it wouldn't budge. Another cry came from downstairs, and she recognized it as one of Skulduggery's.

"Hang on!" She yelled.

Again and again, her boot kicked, and finally the door gave away, and she bolted down the stairs, just in time to see five people, two women and three men exit the front door. Billy-Ray Sanguine grinned, and he held Skulduggery, limp and bound. From her point at the stairs, the could see the tears in his suit and the large crack that zig-zagged on the back of his skull.

"Sorry we're leavin' so soon." Sanguine said. "But Pleasant here has a date with my boss."

The carpet frayed at his feet and Valkyrie lunged, calling Skulduggery's name, but the ground swallowed them up.

She stared at the ruined carpet in the quiet. They had Skulduggery. She now knew that Sanguine was wrapped up in this, but they had Skulduggery. She swallowed down her tears, then looked around for her phone. Cursing, she realized it was upstairs on her bed where she had tossed it.

Turning, she went to rush back up, when something black caught her eye. It was Skulduggery's phone.

Valkyrie fumbled with it, flipping it open. She paused, looking at the screen saver. It was a picture of them on one of their stake-outs. She was laughing and so was Skulduggery. It was one of their best days.

Searching through the contacts, she came to the one she was looking for and dial led, pacing impatiently.

"Hello?"

"Arrant. I need help."

"Why are you calling me?"

"They have Skulduggery. Just now, they captured him."

There was a pause. "I'm on my way."

The call ended, and Valkyrie held the phone to her chest. This was not going to end well.


	6. Chapter 6

Valkyrie told Arrant everything on the drive to the Sanctuary and as they rushed through the halls. She then had to repeat it to the Elders in the throne room. Valkyrie was done with repeating.

Mist sat silently, and Ghastly ran a hand over his scarred head.

Ravel was the only one who spoke. "Did Sanguine say who he was working for?"

"No. Just his boss."

There was a silence.

"I may know who that is."

They all looked at Mist.

"You do? How?"

"That is not relevant." Mist said. "Jason Crusade recently landed in Ireland, and is already on our wanted list. Two days after his mass murdering spree, he completely disappeared off our radar."

Ghastly nodded, thinking. "That is a possibility."

"I know a friend of his."

Everyone turned to stare at Arrant.

"What?" Valkyrie asked.

"He's not bad or anything, although he fought on Mevolents side. His name is Tristan Slight. He owes me a favor, and might know where Jason is."

"But how do you know him?"

"Jason Crusade and Tristan are American, like me. I ran into Tristan on a case. He mentioned Jason. He had business in Ireland, and never went back to America."

"OK. Valkyrie, you take your pick on who you want to bring with you and you can be on your way."

Valkyrie thought about it. Tanith was gone, China was out of the question, and she didn't know if Vex was in the country. They might let Ghastly go, though. She opened her mouth to answer, when Arrant cut her off.

"Grand Mage Ravel. Wouldn't it be best if she had someone with her that knew Tristan? He might be more compliant."

Ravel nodded but Valkyrie glared at her. "I don't need your help."

"Yes you do." Ravel corrected. "Arrant, go with Valkyrie. As soon as you figure out where he is, we will have Cleavers waiting."

Their conversation obviously over, Tipstaff ushered them out the door.

Valkyrie was still glowering when she got in the car.

Arrant sat there, thinking. "If you don't mind me asking-"

"I really, really do."

"Why do you dislike me so much?"

Valkyrie stayed silent.

"I don't know you very well," She continued. "And you don't know me."

Valkyrie was silent.

"Will you tell me?"

Valkyrie was silent.

Arrant let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, but we _are_ working on this case together, and we _will_ have to cooperate."

Valkyrie still stayed silent, mentally screaming at Arrant to shut up.

The rest of the drive was tense and Valkyrie watched the trees whip past. They pulled into the drive of a dark house. The shades where drawn and no light was shining. Arrant led the way up the path and knocked on the door. A man opened the door and his eyes naorrowed when he saw them.

"Visitors?" He asked.

"Well no duh." Arrant said curtly. "Can we come in?"

He opened his mouth to protest, but Arrant pushed past him. "Thank you."

She led the way into a well kept kitchen, the man following and Valkyrie at the end.

She leaned against the counter top as Arrant spoke. "We need to ask you some questions."

The man scowled. "About what?"

The man was small and grey haired. He looked like he had once been good-looking, but old age had washed it off.

"About your friend Jason. Do you know where he is?"

"And why would I tell you?"

Arrant faltered, unable to offer a reason, so Valkyrie took charge.

"Jason Crusade is a wanted criminal, and he has taken someone hostage. We need to know where he is."

The man, Tristan she guessed, turned to her. "I know you. You're the skeletons partner."

"Yes."

Tristan grinned, showing yellowed teeth. "And how is the old man?"

"He is the one who was taken hostage."

Tristan's grin turned into a smirk. "Lost his touch, eh?"

Valkyrie felt herself getting defensive. "It was a surprise attack, six to one.I want to see you try that."

His smile faded. "Touche. And you want to know where Crusade is to get Mr. Pleasant back?"

"Yes."

"I see. And what's in it for me?"

"You're just like China." Valkyrie muttered, and Tristan smiled. This smile was genuine, and soft.

"My dear," He said, his tone changed. "We both know I am _nothing _like China."

She pursed her lips and nodded. Tristan's head tilted and he leaned against the dining table.

"He is in Serpine's old place." He said eventually. "He made the mistake of telling me. He didn't know i'm mutual."

Valkyrie frowned. "Why would he go there? He must know that the Sanctuary is keeping that place under surveillance."

They both looked at her. Valkyrie looked between them. "What? What is it?"

"I don't think that's what he is talking about." Arrant said softly.

"Where else did Serpine stay?"

"If you wanted to hurt Skulduggery, if you wanted to cut so deep, where would you go?"

"I don't know."

"The best way to hurt someone is to dig into their most painful memories. That, alone, is the most painful torture." Tristan said.

Realization dawned and Valkyries hand flew to her mouth. "Not there."

He nodded. "There."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I just saw the paper back cover to Last Stand of Dead Men. O_O Oh. My. God. Tom Percival is amazing. I want to be able to do art like him. And, I get my copy next week!

Check it out at . Its worth it you Skulduggery fans.


	7. Chapter 7

_Skulduggery sat in the chair, bound._

_The room he was in was round, and no windows. The only light was from a bare lightbulb that hung from the ceiling._

_Escape was impossible at the moment. His wrists and ankles were shackled to the chair, binding his magic, and thick leather straps held his calf's and unpperarms in place against the chair._

_Skulduggery looked around the room. A flash of pain flicked its way up from the back of his skull, but he ignored it. He was bored. There was nothing to look at but thus dirty, wooden walls, or the harsh bulb. He couldn't even twirls his thumbs, for goodness sake._

_Leaning back in his chair, Skulduggery gazed at the ceiling, focusing on the deep grooves carved there. His head tilted. He had seen those before._

_Skulduggery craned his neck, trying to get a good look in the dim light. Barely, he could see the designs. A man screaming. A severed head in a pike. A woman cradling a baby, crying. The horrific images swirled down the walls, covering every space. In the very center of the wall in front of him, the Faceless Ones symbol._

_Skulduggery kept looking around, taking everything in, trying to figure out where he gad seen these before._

_A whiring noise sounded behind him. "Skulduggery." A mans voice said. "Thank you for joining us."_

_"I am enjoying the hospitality."_

_"Well, that's good at least." The speaker was staying out of Skulduggerys limited line of sight, but he could hear the man moving behind him. "We thought you might enjoy the room."_

_"It has a different style."_

_The speaker paused. "Ah. You don't recall this room?"_

_"I recognise the designs. Why should I know this room?"_

_"Well, it did play a big part in history. It has a story you should remember."_

_"Refresh me."_

_There was a soft laugh. "Over three hundred years ago, during the war, this room was used as a torture chamber."_

_Skulduggery tilted his head. "That's nice."_

_"For ten years it was abandoned, until one person had a use for it. Three people where tortured at that time. All three died."_

_"Go on."_

_"One of the victims was poisoned, and would have been kept prisoner longer if it hadn't reached his heart. He was killed. I wonder, Skulduggery, do you remember?"_

_Realization hit Skulduggery, and he sagged in his bonds. So long it had been, he had forgotten the room. The pain the room had brought, the suffering. He had not recognized it. It was lacking the shackles, the blood, the screams. _

_The chair, he realized was the same one too. The same chair he sat in when he was forced to watch. Forced to watch Serpine kill his wife and child. He same chair he had died in so many years ago._

_"Do you remember? This was a great room. Used by Vengous, Serpine, and Mevolent himself. Many people died here. Many people went insane here. And you, Skulduggery Pleasant, died here."_

_The whiring noise came from behind him again, and he knew it was a door._

_"Enjoy your stay. We will be having some... fun together." The voice said, and it was gone._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_This is really kind of depressing._

_I always wondered where Skulduggery died. And I always pictured it in a harsh room, surrounded by his pain, and the pain of others. (The carvings.) And you will find out who the man is, and he is not who you think he is. (I am completely ignoring the whole Ravel/Ghastly thing, too. Grrrrr... :( ) _

_I am not putting anything else I have, or think about Skulduggerys past. That is Derek's and his alone. I like not knowing. It makes him more... him. But there wil be more chapters with just Skulduggery. I WILL NOT write in first person, especially in Skulduggerys. And absolutely __**NO **__Valduggery. That's just... wrong._

_Keep with me please!And please leave me a comment. :)  
_

_-Arcane _


	8. Chapter 8

"This is it?" Valkyrie asked, incredulous. "For a super prison, it doesn't look intimidating."

Arrant nodded. "It doesn't, but the real stuff is underground."

"Oh. So what do we have to do?"

"The name of this prison is Vultren. It was built early in the war and was used often, until the rebels took the land."

Valkyrie frowned. "Why are we having a history lesson?"

"In order to knew an enemy, you have to know its history."

"You sound like Skulduggery."

Arrant gave a small laugh.

"That's not a good thing."

Arrange smile disappeared. She cleared her throat.

"It was abandoned, until Serpine had a use for it. That, then was the last time it was ever used. Until know. Throughout its history, the Vultren was equipped with sigils and defence mechanisms to keep trespassers out, and prisoners in."

Valkyrie sighed. "This wont be easy then, will it?"

"No. Not only with we have to get past that, but we have no idea what kind of guards they have. We will definitely need more than two people to get it done. Do you know anyone that would be willing to help?"

Valkyrie thought. "Ghastly, maybe?"

Arrant shook her head. "No, not Ghastly. He's too important."

"Well, Shudder, but he has his hotel, and Ch-" She stopped herself. She was not an option.

"Who were you going to say?" Arrant asked.

Valkyrie shook her head. Use was not going to talk to Arrant about that.

"Well, we're now out of-"

"Vex." Valkyrie blurted. "Dexter Vex. He's out of the country, but I'm sure he would come back to help us, especially since Skulduggery is in trouble."

"Do you know how to contact him?"

"Yeah. He gave me his number last rime I saw him. Its in my..." She trailed off. It was in her phone at Skulduggerys.

She turned to Arrrant. "We need to go back to Skulduggerys house."

"Why?"

"First because my mobile is there." She paused for a second. "And I want to take a shower."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Valkyrie stood in the bathroom, getting read for her shower. She had called Dexter, and he had agreed to help, but had no way of getting there anytime soon. Luckily he was in Australia, and Fletcher was able to pick him up. He would be there the next day.

Valkyrie paused in front of the mirror, looking at herself. She was so different from the Stephanie Edgly that had started doing this six years ago. She looked older, granted, but her legs where strong and her arms where strong and she had a look in her eye, a look of defiance and strength she knew she never would have had.

Valkyrie was different on the inside, too. Not just because of Darquess. The things she had seen, good and bad, swirled inside her, the feelings she had accumulated throughout the years raging inside.

She slipped out of her shirt, stepping into the warm shower, letting the water run over her, still reflecting.

Valkyrie didn't do this often, but sometimes she did. Sometimes she had to.

Skulduggery popped into her head. Valkyrie knew that their relationship was deep, and Skulduggery would never let anything happen to her. And Valkyrie knew she would do the same for him.

"Valkyrie." Arrant called from outside the door. "Dexter called. I told him you'll call back."

"Thanks." She replied, already returning to her thoughts.

She tried to imagine what Skulduggery was going through. Those where terrible times for him, though he never talked about it. Bringing those memories back must be living hell.

She turned the spray off, and wrapped her towel around her, hurrying to her room.

Slipping into her jeans and tee, Valkyrie breifly wondered how much she had cost him, with putting in all of the appliances she had wanted, like the bathroom, the kitchen, and not to mention her room. She dismissed it though. Money wasn't really a problem to someone like Skulduggery.

Arrant was sitting on the couch when Valkyrie walked in. She held out the phone and Valkyrie took it, settling into Skulduggerys favorite chair.

She waited as it rang.

"Hello?" Dexter's voice rang through.

"Hi, Dexter."

"Valkyrie! So I managed to be ready way faster than anticipated, so we're at the Sanctuary now."

Valkyrie frowned. "We?"

"Yes. I brought help. His names Gillan Falter. You'll like him."

She heard a voice in the background. "He told me to tell you, he looks forward to meeting you."

She grinned. "You, too."

"So, are you at Skulduggerys house? Fletcher is right here, he could take us over."

"If you want."

"Oh, I want to." A voice said from behind her and Valkyrie started, whipping around.

Dexter stood there, phone still to his ear. Fletcher gave her a small wave, and the man next to him grinned.

"Valkyrie." Dexter said. "You're looking well."

Valkyrie laughed and gave him a hug. "Its so good to see you."

She looked at Fletcher. "Are you staying?"

"No. Myra and I have a date tonight."

Her smile faded. "Oh."

"Valkyrie." Dexter said. "I'd like you to meet Gillan Falter."

Gillan shook her hand. He had blue eyes and blonde, sandy hair. He was tall, though not as tall as Skulduggery and his arms where toned, strong.

"Nice to meet you."

"Same."

Dexter rubbed his hands together. "So when do we start?"

"As soon as we have a plan." Arrant stood at Valkyries elbow. "Hi, I'm Arrant. I'm helping Valkyrie and Skulduggery on the case."

Dexter's brow furrowed. "Case? What case?"

"The Piano was stolen."

"Oh."

"Sanguine is messed up in this." Valkyrie told him. "He was the one to take Skulduggery."

"And where exactly **did **Sanguine take him?"

Arrant led him over to the table and he studied the building.

"Oh." He said again.

Gillan looked over his shoulder. "Isn't that where..."

"Skulduggery was murdered? Yes, it is."

Gillan sat back on his heels. "So how do we get in? I heard that place is crawling with security."

"Stealth. And magic. Gillan, what type are you?"

"Physical endurance."

He looked at their puzzled stares. "I am incredibly strong and fast. I can jump really high, and I have very fast reflexes. I'm skilled at twin daggers, throwing cutting, whatever."

Arrant nodded. "We can use that. Does the Sanctuary still have the cloaking sphere?"

Dexter nodded. "They should."

"I bet there are other things we can use, too."

Arrant nodded. "We might be able to do this."

"Might?"

"With a plan like mine, anything could go wrong."

Valkyrie folded her arms. "And what is the plan, exactly?"

Arrant pulled a blueprint from under the picture.

"We will enter here." She said, pointing to the west side. "There is a secret tunnel that was used to smuggle goods in that leads to here." Her finger tapped the middle of the paper.

"That's when we split up. One team will go to the main control panel, and set the alarm off in the third wing, second and first floor. None of us will be in the third wing. The second group will go down to the basement, or dungeon because its more accurate, and get Skulduggery."

"The room he is in," She continued. "Has many more security measures. Those who go there will have to learn counteracting symbols. After you retrieve him, group two will make their way up here," She tapped the roof, "With the cloaking sphere, and descend off of the roof. Group one will alreay have left through the tunnel and sealed it off. We will meet at the sanctuary. I have a feeling Skulduggery will be hurt."

Arrant finished and leaned back in her chair.

"That plan would be spectacular," Dexter said. "If our plans had a history of going the way we wanted."

Valkyrie looked at him. "Do you have a better idea?"

"Well... no."

"Right. Well that is the plan we will use. How long will it take to get this done?"

Arrant took a breath. "Well, we have to get our materials, so that will take a bit to get permission, and group two will have to learn the symbols, so... about two days."

Valkyrie sagged. She had hoped to get him out the next day, but that looked like it wasnt going to happen.

"We should figure out the groups." Gillan said.

"I am on group two." Valkyrie said.

Arrant looked at her. "OK. I am on group one."

"Same." Gillan said.

Dexter grinned at Valkyrie. "It seems we are on the same team then."

Valkyrie nodded, staying silent.

"Gillan and I will go get the sphere and other equipment. You and Dexter can go see China."

"No."

Arrant faltered and looked at Valkyrie. "What?"

"I- I don't want to see China."

"You have too. That's the only way. Unless you want to switch groups."

Valkyrie sighed. "Fine. But **do not** expect me to be civil."

Arrant looked at her weirdly, but Dexter laid a hand on her shoulder. "I understand."

Arrant stood. "Valkyrie and Dexter, you should get some rest. You have the biggest parts. Gillan, we should head to the Sanctuary and put in request forms."

Dexter nodded. "Good idea. Val and I will be fine here. Right, Val?"

She nodded, still silent.

"Good. See you all soon."

Dexter had successfully managed to pull out the right futon couch, unlike Skulduggery had months before.

Valkyrie stood in the doorway watching him pile on the blankets. He saw her out of the corner of his eye.

"Is his house always this cold?" He asked.

She shrugged, and his mouth set in a straight line.

"We'll get him back, I promise."

She nodded again. "I know. At least you didn't kill the couch."

He laughed. "No, I didn't. That's a plus."

Valkyrie stood in the doorway for a moment, then turned to leave. "I'm going to go to bed."

"Good idea, I will too."

"I have my moments."

Valkyries blankets beckoned her as she slid into her oversized tee. They were warm, and the bed was soft, and it was almost as good as her bed back home. _Almost._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All righty! I really have no idea where this is going (I have a small idea.) and I hope you enjoy. As always please press the follow button, and LEAVE A COMMENT! I ADORE COMMENTS! Love you all!

Peaces!

-Arcane


	9. Chapter 9

_Skulduggerys back was arched in silent agony, and a man was laughing behind him. The torture was never ending, and Skulduggery was broke._

_Things like this never really had bothered him. The pain would leave, he would heal, but there was a difference here. Perhaps it was the tricks the man was playing, or it was the simple fact of it was exactly the same as the last three days he had with a beating heart in his chest._

_Throughout the hours, something from the room that had been covered by magic, appeared. First, it was the scratch marks down the walls. Next, it was the racks and torture equipment. Finally, it was the blood-stains._

_He knew that they had gradually brought these back in order for a more powerful impact, and it had worked. But not as much as it should have. He was still hurting, but the thoughts of Valkyrie, her family, Ghastly and the rest of them kept him strong. Kept him sane._

_A new feeling crept over him, cold. Cold like he hadn't felt in forever. It grew more and more painful, peaking and falling, and it took all he had not to cry out. _

_The mans voice came from behind him. "Are you done yet? Are finished?"_

_Skulduggery didn't answer and the man laughed. "I have a new trick." He said "One tha-"_

_An alarm rang out through the building._

_The went silent. "What the __**hell**__?"_

_The door opened and someone ran in. "We have been broken into! Wing three."_

_The man cursed. "How?"_

_"We don't know."_

_Skulduggery could hear the man pacing. "Take me there."_

_"But-"_

_"Obviously you cant handle it your self. Take me."_

"Yes, sir."

_The whiring noise came again and the door closed. Skulduggery sat, alone._

_Heavy footsteps pounded outside and stopped by the door. Silence, besides the alarm._

_Then the door was blasted off its hinges and Valkyrie Cain burst into the room._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_These chapters are really short, sorry._

_THESE ARE NOT VALDUGGERY! I really don't support that. Its more like __**almost **__a father/daughter feel, but more like really, really good friends. Like really, really, __**really **__good friends._

_Bye!_

_-Arcane_


	10. Chapter 10

The tunnel they were in was small tight, and Valkyrie was feeling slightly claustrophobic. It was only until they reached the small storage room that they would split up in, and although it was only a short distance, it felt like forever.

Arrant held up a hand to stop, and she did, but Dexter behind her couldn't see this, so he ran into Valkyrie. Squished, again.

"This is the room," Arrant whispered, "Remember your part of the plan."

Valkyrie nodded silently and one by one, they slipped into the room. Dexter stood by Valkyrie as they watched Gillan and Arrant quietly move out into hall, cloaking sphere in hand. Dexter took out his own and gave Valkyrie a small smile. "Are you ready?" He mouthed and she nodded again.h

Twisting the sphere, they moved into the hall, pressing themselves against the wall whenever someone passed. One hall went, then another, and they were almost there when a group of mages came around the corner. As they passed slowly, arguing about something, the one closest to them turned his head and faltered. His eyes narrowed and he stopped fully. The others stopped and turned.

"What do you see?" One asked, "Getting a vision?"

The man shook his head, "No. There's... there's someone here."

Dexter grunted, "Psychic," he muttered and twisted the cloaking sphere, enveloping them all. Shouts rang out, but the group was quickly dispatched. Dexter dragged the last man into a small storage closet. He looked at her, opening his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a shrill alarm.

Dexter cursed and jumped to his feet, grabbing Valkyries arm. "We have to go," he whispered urgently and she nodded, taking off down the corridor. She took the lead, bolting down the halls. The doors became stronger looking, more enforced the further she went down. She skidded to a halt infront of a steel studded door and flexed her fingers, pushing the air and blasted down the door.

Valkyrie stopped in the doorway. Dexter pushed past her as she took in the room. There where etchings all over the walls, disturbing images that made her falter. It the middle of ther room there was a single wooded chair, and in that chair sat Skulduggery. He sat limply in the chair, and he didnt raise his head when Dexter nelt down. He still didnt move when she walked around to his front.

He looked a mess. Valkyrie could see the large crack on the top of his head more prominently. His suit was ripped, and she could tell by the odd slanting angle of his position, that some ribs and possibly something else was broken.

Dexter stood and stepped back, the chains falling to the ground and the shackles snapping open. Skulduggery still didnt move and Valkyrie started to get worried until Skulduggerys hand slowly closed and flexed.

He took a moment, hand closed. "Thanks," he mumbled, head still lowered.

Valkyrie nodded, and watched as he slowly stood from the chair, supporting himself on the arm rest. His right leg buckled, and Dexter bolted forward, draping one of Skulduggerys arms around his neck, supporting him. Skulduggery grunted, and finally raised his head, looking at Valkyrie. She nodded at him, holding back the want to hug him.

Dexter moved to the door, Skulduggery on his arm, and Valkyrie moved out behind them. The alarm was peircing, but so far no mates had come down that way. They moved along painstakingly slow due toto Skulduggerys condition, trying to make it back to the room in which they had entered.

Valkyrie walked backwards, covering their backs, and counted the doors in her head. One, two, three doors, take a right. One, two, left. Two more doors, then right and then they where there.

They turned the last corner, moving as fast as they could, but froze, and stared at the door. A man smiled. "Going somewhere?"

* * *

Sorry for the super short chapter. I had a little thing called writers block. It is also winter break here in Washington so _hopefully _I can get more chapters out.

Thanks for reading!

-Arcane


	11. Chapter 11

The man smiled and three more people stepped out behind him.

"Skulduggery," the man said, the sickly sweet smile still on his face, "Why are you leaving so soon? We were having so much fun together."

"The time of my life," Skulduggery said warily, "I should have guessed it was you."

The man laughed. It was a carefree thing, smooth and twittery. It reminded Valkyrie of a flight attendant.

He shrugged. "I was slightly surprised as well. But I guess you were slightly otherwise preoccupied."

"Why did you steal The Piano?"

"Oh, I didn't steal it, and its not me who wants it."

"Then who?"

The man looked at Valkyrie. "I'm sure your partner knows."

Valkyrie stared straight back. "Jason Crusade?"

Skulduggerys head turned to her. "How do you about him?"

"Mist," She replied, not taking her eyes off of the man.

He small led his sticky smile again. "Yes. And I do believe he haven't met. I am Gloom. Nothing else. And you must be Valkyrie Cain." He turned his head back to Skulduggery. "I'm afraid you cant leave. We need you."

Dexter cut in. "But I'm afraid he cant stay. Now will you kindly move out of the way."

Dexter moved to slip past the but the two hunks behind Gloom stepped forward.

"I see," Dexter looked at Skulduggery, "Can you stand on your own for a second?"

Skulduggery nodded and moved over to lean against the wall.

"Alright. Who is going to make the first move?"

The hulk on the right stepped forward first. A garbage can came flying at Dexter's head out of nowhwere but Dexter ducked before it hit him. The man grunted and the can swung around coming back for another blow.

Dexter lunged forward, rolling underneath and twisted, his hand glowing and sent a blast of energy that blasted both apart.

The second hulk came up behind him to try and get a hit in, but Dexter spin around and blocked, and swung, starting a close combat match.

The third hulk moved toward Valkyrie and she ducked under the first punch and responding with a kick to the knee. He grunted and punched and she blocked and was met with a kick to the stomach. She landed on her back and the man went to crush her head with his boot but was blasted off his feet.

Valkyrie turned her head to see Skulduggery had his hand raised. He caught her looking at him and he nodded, limping over. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," She grunted. Valkyrie glanced behind him and saw three more people bolt around the corner. She clambered to her feet and clicked her fingers sending twin fireballs at the oncoming assault. The first was dodged the the second hit one of them squarely in the chest. He went down screaming and tearing at his shirt.

She punched the first man that got close. He snarled at her and she ducked low, aiming a kick at his legs. His hand darted out and caught it, swinging her around and crunching her against the wall. She was aware that Dexter was now fighting Gloom and Skulduggery had picked up the third. She barely blocked the punch that would have broken her nose, struggling against the hand that held her against the wall. She wasn't going to be able tto fight her way out so she did the only thing age could think of.

Her boot crunched inbetween his legs and the mans eyes grew wide and his grip slacked and Valkyrie pushed at the air and he flew back hitting the wall with a crunch. He didn't get up.

Valkyrie turned to see Skulduggery finish off the woman he had been fighting and then to Dexter who was still fighting Gloom. Gloom glanced over and his eyes narrowed and he moved away from Dexter. His eyes traveled over each of them, and he turned on his heel and ran, pushing off the wall and bolting around the corner.

Dexter moved to follow him, but Skulduggery put a hand on his shoulder. "Hes going to get reinforcements. We need to go now."

Dexter looked at him and nodded, once againg lending Skulduggery his shoulder and they moved into the room and into the tunnel. There progress was slow due to Skulduggerys condition and the right spaces, but soon Valkyrie saw light ahead and they emerged into the night air. Moving as fast as possible, they reached the car, and Dexter pit it in drive and sped off towards their rondevouse point.

x

Arrant and Gillan were already at the Sanctuary and looked very happy to see them alive. Dexter filled them in as they escorted Skulduggery to the medical bay and Valkyrie was now sitting in a chair outside the double doors.

Skulduggery had been taken care of immediately and had been being worked on for over an hour now. Valkyrie had moved from inside to her current place because his painful moans had started to get to her. Arrant sat to her left and she was watching Dexter speak to Ghastly.

Thebdiors to the wing opened and Nye eased its way out the door. "Detective Peasant is done. He should stay for at least a day. I expect you to make him."

Ghastly nodded. "Continue with you work."

Valkyrie stood and walked down the rows of hospital beds to the one at the end and pulled back the curtain. Skulduggery was sitting up and on top of the covers. His jacket was hanging off the back of the chair next to him and the sleeve of his right arm was pushed up to the elbow showing them the thick brown sludge that covered the bones of his arm. His head turned to her as she stepped in, The others staying and the opening.

"How are toy feeling?" He asked jesturing with his non sludge covered arm to her own wrapped wrist. She raised an eyebrow.

"Your asking me how I'm feeling? You're the one in the hospital bed."

He shrugged and she laughed. "My wrist is fine. Just a minor sprain. It will be gone in about an hour." She walked to the side of the bed and sat in the chair. "How are you?"

Skulduggery shrugged again. "Somethings are painful, some are not, and others are gone already."

"What was wrong?"

"A lot of things. Broken arm, leg and more than a few ribs. I had fractures, dislocations, scratches, and cracks. It was painful."

Valkyrie looked at him. "Wow."

"Wow indeed. I would have been in worse condition if you hadn't come for me. Thank you, by the way."

Valkyrie shrugged. "You wouldn't have left me."

They sat in silence and Ghastly nudged Arrant and they left, Dexter following.

Valkyrie looked away and thought about how to ask her next question. "Was it bad," she said slowly, "Being back there?"

Skulduggery paused, then leaned back against the headboard. "Yes," He said, "It was. It was exactly the same as it had been the last time. Same chair, same carvings, same torture. The only difference was that I was resucued. Last time I didn't have a partner like you. Or a friend like you. I didn't have anyone that had enough incentive to save me. And look how I ended up." He looked at her. "I seem to be captured a lot."

"And I save you a lot." She said with a smile.

He laughed. "I get in too much trouble." Skulduggery went to swing his legs out of bed, but Valkyrie stopped him. "You're supposed to stay the night. Ghastlys orders."

He looked at her. "And since when have I followed Ghastlys orders?"

"A long time," She admitted, "But now I'm telling you to stay. You have to listen to me."

She glared at him and his head tilted down slightly and she knew he was gglaring back. He sighed finally and leaned back again. "This is so boring."

Valkyire grinned. "I think its hilarious."

He grunted.

"I mean, you're the one getting prefer around and I get to sit her and do it. This is awesome."

"And its not going to happen very often."

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why not?"

"Because its not fun. And it makes me look bad."

"Well, we cant have that, can we?"

"You can stop mocking me."

"Your the one digging tho hole."

"I'm doing no such thing."

"You're an idiot."

Skulduggery reached acrossed and pressed a button on the head board. It beeped ad he spoke into the little microphone. "I'm being harassed. Send two Cleavers down please."

Ghastlys voice came through. "I think your fine."

Skulduggery sagged. "What are you doing?"

"I volunteered to take this nurses place while she went on break," Ghastly replied, "It seems to be very amusing."

Skulduggery lifted his finger from the button. "This," He said, "Will be fun."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That little button Skulduggery pushed is the call button for help, if you've ever been in a hospital.

Hope you enjoyed!

-Arcane


	12. Kind of a Chapter

This has nothing to do with the story. I just wanted to write a short Christmas one-shot since its, well, _Christmas. _Enjoy!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Valkyrie stared at the front of her house, mouth hanging open slightly. Her mother stood next to her holding Alice and her father stood in front of them, looking rather proud of himself.

"Oh, Desmond," Melissa said, "What did you _d_o?"

"I put up Christmas lights," He said proudly, "All by myself."

"I see that. Where did you get all of these?"

"I borrowed them."

"From who?"

"That doesn't matter." Desmond tuned on his heel and walked closer to the glowing mess of bright strings he called lights and grabbed a plug-in. "You haven't seen all of it yet!"

"How exactly did he manage to do this quiet enough for us to sleep through it?" Valkyrie asked her mother.

Melissa paused. "I have no idea."

They stood there and watched Desmond struggle with the plug-in until he did a little 'aha!' and shoved it into the slot. Valkyrie fully expected him to electrocute himself, but then changed her mind that it was more likely that the house catch fire before that.

The front, and most possibly the back wad entirely covered with bright white lights. Three giant Santa's, two snowmen and two reindeer started billowing up from the ground and a horrible high-pitched rendition of 'Deck the Halls' stared playing from a small plastic merry-go-round.

Valkyries mouth fell open. As impossible as it seemed, her father had the Lampoons lights beat. Her mother blinked and let out a 'what did you do' sigh and a very defeated whimper. Desmond stood in the middle of it all, illuminated by the lights and looking rather deranged with his large cheesy grin plastered on his face.

"How do you like it?" He shouted over the noise, "To much?"

"Just... just a bit, dear."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"Turn it off, dad!" Valkyrie shouted at him and her mother looked at her thankfully.

Desmond's shoulders dropped and he stooped and unplugged the last set of lights leaving them once again with the bit that covered the front of the house. He walked closer. "You didn't like them?"

"We loved them," Valkyrie said.

"They were just a bit too... _loud." _Melissa finished.

"Oh," He turned to face the house once again. "So, should I take these down too?"

"Oh, no." Melissa said. "These are... better. Now, why don't we all go inside before our toes freeze off?"

They trooped back and Melissa put Alice in her high chair and began dinner while Desmond plopped on the couch and turned on the T.V. Valkyrie stood behind him with her elbows on the back and decided to watch a bit of news. She smiled to herself. What would happen if they knew what real danger they were in? That there were bigger things happening than an earthquake in wherever?

Valkyrie wondered what all of her other friends where doing. Her hand slipped into her pocket for her phone when she realized that it was sitting on the kitchen table.

"Steph? You have a phone call. Do you want me to pick up for you?"

Valkyries eyes widened. She couldn't pick up the phone. It was probably Skulduggery. "No, mum, I'm coming."

She moved into the kitchen and saw Melissa cooking and her phone lit up on the table. She grabbed it and pressed answer, placing it against her ear.

"Hello?"

Skulduggery Pleasants smooth voice came through from the other side. "Valkyrie. Are you free? Their is-"

"I'm great, how are you?" Valkyrie said, cutting him off.

"I'm sorry," Skulduggery said, "What?"

"That's good. My dad just put up lights. They look _wonderful._"

"Valkyrie, what are you-?

"Nothing really," Valkyrie continued, making sure that her mother had stopped looking at her in that curious way, "I'm just standing here with my mum. Shes making dinner."

Skulduggery paused. "Ah. I see. Well then. Meet me at the pier. We have a case."

Valkyrie laughed. "Alright. Have a good night."

She hung up and her mother paused from the cooking. "Who was that?"

"Oh," Valkyrie said, leaning up against the table casually, "Just a friend wishing me happy holidays."

"Well that was nice."

"Yeah." Valkyrie stood up. "I'll be right back. I'm going up to my room for a second."

"Alright. Dinner will be ready in about five minutes."

Valkyrie climbed the stairs and touched her mirror. Her reflection climbed out and watched as she changed into her black clothes. "What do you think this is about?"

"I have no idea. Hopefully its worth my time because it is almost dinner and I'm _starving._"

"I'll save you something."

"Thanks." Valkyrie gave it a small grin and slipped out the window.

She used the air to slow her dissent and started a brisk jog. Her breath billowed out in front of her and she quickly approached the pier. Skulduggery was leaning against the Bentley, façade up. It was a brown-haired, grey eyed man today. He nodded at her as she slowed.

"Your house looks rather festive."

Valkyrie winced. "You saw that?"

"Yes. You said that he had put them up so I figured _something _would be worth looking at."

"Yeah. It's the first year he's done them."

"I can tell."

They climbed into the car and Skulduggery started the engine and pulled out onto the road.

"So what is it now?"

"Just more mages wanting to destroy the holiday."

"Wait, what? They don't want to end life as we know it? They don't want to bring the Faceless Ones back? They want to destroy _Christmas?"_

"Well, they don't want to _destroy _Christmas, more like do something that will expose magic and crush the dreams of little children."

She stared at him. "What's going on?"

"I don't think you can even call them villans. More like curious lunatics."

"Skulduggery."

"I mean," He continued, "They had to be lunatics to try it in the first place, but-"

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie said sharply, cutting him off, "What do they want to do?"

Skulduggery hesitated. "They... want to catch Santa Claus."

Valkyrie stared at him. "You can't be serious."

"This time, I am."

"They do know Santa isn't real."

"No. They think he is as real as you and I. Like I said, lunatics."

"So... what are they going to do?"

"The leader in Dalian Blast, and he has a group of three people. Himself, Sparkling Joe, yes he picked that name, and Lilly White. You know how Santa delivers his presents at midnight? They plan on launching a giant, magical net into the sky over Dublin in hopes that Santa would plow straight into it. While this might have worked if Santa where real, it's not now. Here lies our second problem. Not only do we have a giant sparkly flying net for everyone to see, there is a plane due for Dublin airport at twelve. If they hit it, that means a lot of dead mortals."

Valkyrie stared at him, expecting him to start laughing and say he was joking, but he just looked straight ahead.

"OK," She said, breaking the silence, "How are we going to stop this?"

"Hopefully we can talk sense into them without resulting in violence."

"And how likely is that?"

"Not very," He admitted.

xxx

They pulled over in front of an abandoned warehouse and got out. Valkyrie gathered the shadows around her fist as he picked the lock.  
The door swung open silently and Skulduggery crept through, pulling his gun out of its holster as he went.

The warehouse was big and quiet and empty. There was a small office to the right and besides the supports, there was nothing on the ground.

They moved slowly, Skulduggery taking one side and Valkyrie taking the other. It was cold in here, colder than outside and despite her protective clothing, she was beginning to shiver. She ran her eyes over the walls and up across the rafters. Nothing her whole search took her less than five minutes. She turned and was about to tell Skulduggery she didn't find anything when she was interrupted by a rather rude whistling.

Valkyrie turned and Skulduggery raised his gun as a little old woman hobbled through a side door. She was carrying a mop and bucket and ever so often would stop and scrub at something on the floor.

She kept moving in a straight line, and didn't lift her head. Valkyrie watched as she neared Skulduggery and finally bumped into him. She paused and looked up into his hollow eye sockets. They stood there for a few moments before a giant grin spread across her face.

"Visitor!" She cried and dropped the mop and bucket and threw her arms around Skulduggery.

Valkyrie snorted and tried not to burst out laughing as Skulduggerys head jerked back and he stumbled, the old woman holding his arms tight to his sides in a vise like hug. The little woman went with him as he stepped back and her weight made him lose his balance and the both fell backwards, the woman landing on top.

Valkyrie covered her mouth with her hand, eyes wide and shoulders shaking.

The old lady raised her face from Skulduggerys shirt, the beaming smile still on her face. "I haven't had visitors since... since... oh fiddle sticks, I can't remember. But that doesn't matter because I have one now!"

She got to her feet and picked up her mop and bucket in one hand and held onto Skulduggerys arm with the other. She began rattling off something about flowers as she dragged him to the little door. His head turned to her as he passed and he opened his mouth to say something, but was given a hard yank and disappeared through the door.

Shoulders still shaking, she followed into a brightly lit office area decorated with every Christmas Icon imaginable. The lady planted Skulduggery on the couch and moved to the little stove in the corner, returning with a cup of steaming liquid which she shoved into his hands.

"Tea is very good for you. It builds strong bones. Or is that milk? I can never remember these days! Well, drink up before it gets cold."

"Ma'am," Skulduggery started, "I hate to be-"

But he was once again cut off by the lady. This time she grabbed the cup and shoved a black disk that looked like a cookie into his hands. In the process, she splashed the tea onto his shirt and left crumbs on his pants. She turned, still rattling on, then plopped herself down next to him.

"Have you ever been to Bulgaria? It's supposed to be very pretty. I heard they came out with something called a lightbulb. Isn't it amazing? You must have had to come a long way to see me. Don't forget about your cookie!"

She still had that crazy smile on her face and her hand clasped Skulduggerys knee. Skulduggery himself was just sitting there in a sort of daze, not saying anything and looking at her in his way of surprise.

"Ma'am," He said, cutting her off, "I don't know you."

The lady twittered and nodded her head. "Ma'am. You called me Ma'am. Such a gentleman. My name is Margaret. You can call me Mardge. All my friends do. They're all dead. Old age. I'm almost a thousand myself. Birthday is the next week."

And with that she began singing 'Happy Birthday to me' to the tune of 'We Wish you a Merry Christmas.'

"Uh, Mardge. Do you mind if I, Ahem, ask you some questions?" Skulduggery tried.

Mardge patted his leg. "Ask away, young man. Did you hear the goose this morning?"

"Ah, no I didn't. Hav-"

"Well then, you must be deaf. You were saying?"

"Has anyone besides us come through here?"

"Oh, yes. Three people. Did you know that pizza is a pie?"

Valkyrie grinned and stepped forward to try to get the conversation on track, because Skulduggery was doing such a great job. Marches head snapped around to her and her smile grew wider. "Another one!"

"Yes," Valkyrie said, "Did these people tell you were they were going?"

"Oh yes. They told me there plan. Wanting to capture Santa. I told them no. You do that, I said, you do that and you wont get any presents this year. Did they listen? No. And so I couldn't have them carry it through. They wanted Santa, they got Santa."

"Do you know where they went?"

"They didn't go anywhere! They're still here!"

Mardge stood and grabbed Skulduggerys arm against, dragging him to his feet and to a door in the back. "They're in here."

Valkyrie moved to the door and opened it. The first thing she was hit with was the color. Red _everywhere._ And she saw why. The whole room was filled with Santa's. Big ones, small ones, glass ones, you name it. And in the middle of the room was three people, bound and gagged.

"Well," Valkyrie said, "That was easy."

"Yes," Skulduggery said slowly, "It was."

She grinned and they turned and Skulduggery was greeted face to face with Mardge. She had a fully cooked turkey on a platter in her hands. "Wont you stay for dinner?"

Skulduggery started to shake his head and say no, but Valkyrie cut him off. "We'd _love _to."

Skulduggery sagged and Mardge beamed at him. "Dinner time!"

"Joy." Skulduggery muttered and Mardge dragged him off.

Valkyrie grinned. This will be fun.

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And that's it! Thee is my sort of long Christmas short story! Hope you enjoyed!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

-Arcane


End file.
